Hoptathlon Part 2

The last two events of the hoptathlon are also the most intrinsically enjoyable and the only thirst extinguishing ones of this beer-off. Finally I get to taste and savour what the three competitors can do as they drench my palate to make it tingle and let my tongue roll around in my mouth. I have divvied up the tasting competition into two parts, one focusing on malt and the other on hop flavours, although any beer connoisseur will readily recognize that one cannot, nor should one, taste either one in isolation. But I am only following the rules and will have to cheat like a judge at Figure Skating or a similar competition, where some discretion is possible in the assessment, to bring in some elements of balance to each separate event as necessary. This should put off a few of you and make the rest become slightly bewildered, but it's your own fault for reading this dribble. Still, in order to pacify most if not all of you, I intend to write a future post elaborating on and explaining my conceptualization of tasting and describing beer flavours.

Who should be devoured first? I will start with the Hophead because it is the lightest in colour of the three. Overall, this beer has a lovely dark toast malt character, somewhat bread-like, turning into burnt toast that finishes very dry. The hops aromas are scintillating and fresh - lot's of cascade and other aromatic hops notes fly out of the glass to mesmerize your olfactory senses. The hop palate provides very subtle floral flavours and is best described as grapefruit slices served on dark toast - cutting all sweetness dry like a bone with peach pit poison.

Second, I taste the Hopitcal Illusion. Its malt flavours are burnt toast all the way - dry and acidic, with very little sweetness up front. The floral hop aromas are very slight, while floral flavours are missing in action. This beer also has a grapefruit character, although less so than the Hophead, and one that lasts along the entire palate. Some of the acidic/bitter grains combine well with the hops bitterness to draw your back palate clean, and a hop belch followed soon after.

Last, we arrive at the Oxymor - will it put me over the edge? The aromas are strong and pungent, reminiscent of aged hops, a smell that combines wet old hay with urine. I learned about this smell when I once kept some hop cones for an extended time in order to make a Halloween costume. In the end, I had to ditch the idea and go to Plan B because the stench of my costume would have produced swaths of dead flies, moths, vampires, and other nocturnal creatures in my wake wherever I would have gone. Once I cleared my nose, I was hit my a wall of dark malt, mixed with some yeast fruit flavours and alcohol warmth that balanced quite well. The ensuing and overwhelming taste of toast and molasses did not leave much room for the hops to make an impact, which perhaps was a blessing in disguise (and I don't mean my Halloween costume).

One last view of the competitors in action:

The final tally of the Hoptathlon:

Serving format: (1) Oxymor; (2) Hoptical Illusion; (3) Hophead
Label: (Tied 1) Hoptical Illusion; Oxymor; (3) Hophead
Bottle Cap: (1) Hoptical Illusion; (2) Hophead; (3) Oxymor
Appearance: (1) Hoptical Illusion; (2) Hophead; (3) Oxymor
Foam: Three-way tie
Malt flavours: (1) Hophead; (2) Oxymor; (3) Hoptical Illusion
Hops flavours: (1) Hophead; (2) Hoptical Illusion; (3) Oxymor

If I weigh all competitions equally, the winner is Hoptical Illusion, but if I give a slightly stronger weight to the last two, which are arguably the most important competitions, the Hophead is our winner. Or maybe I won because I got to drink three fine beers. You be the judge, even if it is a synchronized swimming judge!

I'll leave you with another detail from the Hoptical Illusion label that provides an uncanny likeness of me during the hoptathlon: